Dungeon Master Burnout is Part of the Process

There are a lot of people already talking about how to avoid burnout as a Dungeon Master. I have a slightly different take (surprise, surprise!). I think burnout is inevitable, in some sense. And not necessarily something to avoid, rather I think it is a learning opportunity. I think it is perfectly normal to experience some level of burnout. There is no moral judgement to be made, you aren't failing, you're learning. You aren't a hapless victim or mentally ill. Sometimes things work until they don't, and we won't know it until we're in it.

Let me describe for you what I mean by burnout. Broadly, it's when you, the DM, are no longer mostly positive about your game days. We all have moments of frustration, that's not what I'm talking about. It's when you find yourself complaining about your players and how your game is going on the regular. When you start finding every excuse to reschedule, just so you don't have to deal with it. When you start wondering what the heck you're doing wrong and why can't you get your players to stop doing the thing. When you feel that your players are owed a certain level of performance and you can't deliver. This is burnout. And it needs to happen.

Why?

Because it's the indicator light on your game engine. Something is not working for you. I'm not saying let yourself get to the point where you take all your books, burn them, and go live as a hermit in the woods. But that it will happen in some sense, and you should be aware that it will, and recognize it before you completely blow out.

So what's to be done when you're at the burnout point? Analysis. A thorough top down, zoomed out analysis of what's going on. You need to look at your current situation in life as a whole. And ask yourself questions about each area. Find the stressors, write them down. Think about how each of those are making you feel as a whole. Then dig even deeper and start thinking about ways to alleviate that stress. Make a plan for each one. Execute.

Vague? Yes. I'm sorry to disappoint, but your situation is unique to you regarding the stressors in your life and your game. I will give you an example of how I analyze my life when I'm starting to feel the burnout.

I list everything that's bothering me. Maybe I have a player that won't engage, ever. Or one that hogs the spotlight. Maybe my whole group refuses to advance beyond spamming the attack button like a video game. Maybe I am feeling like I am not engaging or entertaining enough. Maybe I feel that I need to be spending the time I've been spending on the game somewhere else.

Then I take each one of my issues individually and see if I can find an immediate solution to any of them. I'll jot those down next to it. If I don't have an answer just yet, I'll leave those blank and move on.

This is where I'll list the other commitments I have, and how I feel about them. This can be anything. For example, my schedule changes around the seasons. During the spring and summer I have a lot more outdoor chores that need my attention, and that time needs to come from somewhere. My answer is to keep my DM work to the bare minimum so that I don't feel my other responsibilities suffer. Both get attention, but the bulk shifts, at least for a season. I really enjoy gardening and being outside, so I let myself have that time. Again, if there's a point of contention, I'll try to find an immediate solution, or move on.

I'll take the unresolved issues from both lists and analyze them. Where are my pressure points? Is it a time constraint? Or a I really don't like doing this one thing? Or I don't know how I am going to do this thing yet? Usually once I really sit down and think about everything, I find my answer.

Once the stressors have been identified, and solutions crafted, the only thing left is to take action. This is going to look wildly different for each one of us. But checking off that list of items is going to help reduce stress and keep things flowing.

Take the time to think about your life and how your game can fit into it. It's not the other way around. The game is pretend, your life isn't. The other people playing are real, yes, and capable of understanding that you are a real person, too. And if they don't, well they should probably find another table to play at. Be honest and upfront with your players about what's going on and how you're feeling. Chances are they will be supportive and understand, or at least have some feedback and ideas of their own that are helpful. Things won't get better without taking action. You can keep driving with the check engine light on for a while, but once the engine breaks, it's going to be serious, instead of just an oil change and some routine maintenance. Recognizing when that light is coming on for you, and dealing with it immediately will help you feel better and keep you enjoying your game.

Thanks for being here!